Obama vs McCain – Palin: I’m a little confused …

This is from an email that is making the rounds. I have formatted it and added a couple of my own.

[Update:  Many of these can be found in a posting on That Minority Thing.  The Conservative Palinguage Guide Vols. 1 and 2.  It’s absolutely brilliant.  Thanks to Cats at Pennsylvania for Change for directing me to the source.] 

I’m a little confused.  Let me see if I have this straight…..

 

If you grow up in Hawaii and are raised by your grandparents

–  You are “exotic, different.”

 

 

If you grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers

–  You are the quintessential American story.

 

If your name is Barack

 –  You are a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.

 

If you name your kids Willow, Trig and Track

–  You are a maverick.

 

If you graduate from Harvard Law School

–  You are unstable.

 

If you attend 5 different small colleges before graduating

–  You are well-grounded.

 

If you

  spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer,

  become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review,

  create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters,

  spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor,

  spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people,

  become chairman of the state Senate’s Health and Human Services committee,

  spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran’s Affairs committees,

 

–  You don’t have any real leadership experience.

 

If your total resume is:

  local weather girl,

  4 years on the city council

  6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people,

  20 months as the governor of a state with only 650,000 people,

 

–  You are qualified to become the country’s second highest ranking executive.

 

If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches

–  You are not a real Christian.

 

If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month,

–  You are a Christian.

 

If you teach responsible, age-appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control

–  You are eroding the fiber of society.

 

If, while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state’s school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant

–  You are very responsible.

 

If you run a high-road campaign, debating this issues and free of smear

–  You are a liar who can’t be trusted.

 

When you run a slimy, smear-filled campaign, out-of-touch with the issues, and constantly lie about your opponent (and even Karl Rove says you have stretched the truth)

–  You are a straight-talker and a leader.

 

If you discuss ways to improve our struggling economy, offer plans to tackle the needs of middle-class Americans and offer an exit strategy from the Iraq War (one that should never have been fought and you opposed from the beginning.)

–  You are a typical Washington insider who will only offer more of the same.

 

If you have served 26 years in Washington, voted with the failed policies of President Bush 90% of the time and think that everything is going fine in the economy

–  You are change we can believe in.

 

 

 

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2 responses to “Obama vs McCain – Palin: I’m a little confused …

  1. Oh, that’s part of the Palanguage. I posted something to that effect in my September Short Shorts. 🙂

  2. I have been trying to work back through the email to find the original author so I could give the credit.
    I read this and loved it.